


Christmas Without You

by ziamandbeyond



Series: I Bet My Life [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Coming Out, Famous Liam, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Non-Famous Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6650941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziamandbeyond/pseuds/ziamandbeyond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“They want me to do a Christmas special and perform.”</p>
<p>“Liam, tell them no. Christmas is our holiday!”</p>
<p>“I know that, love. They’re not giving me a choice here, but we’re still spending Christmas together. Nobody will ever take Christmas away from us.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so this is set a few years after I Shall Return For You, My Love. It's not necessary to read that before reading this. 
> 
> Song Inspiration is "Christmas Without You" by OneRepublic.

“So is Liam coming home for Valentine’s day next week,” Louis asked loudly as he walked into Zayn’s classroom. Zayn was getting ready to yell at him, but Louis looked decently embarrassed when he noticed that the classroom wasn’t empty like it usually was at that time of day.

“Mr. Malik, who’s Liam?” the girl asked. Zayn glared at his best friend.

“Liam’s just a friend who’s been out of town. Apparently Mr. Tomlinson misses him or something,” Zayn said to the student who’d stayed behind to ask about an assignment he’d set.

“Just a friend?” she questioned, and Zayn wondered why he decided to teach teenagers. They were too nosey and far too observant for Zayn’s liking.

“Lily, you should run off before you’re late for your next class. I believe I answered your question about the assignment. If you have any more concerns you can bring them to me tomorrow,” he said dismissing her. She just laughed leaving the two teachers in the classroom alone.

Zayn sighed and walked over to his desk taking a seat as Louis sat on top of one of the empty student desks. He knew Lily was a good student and a good girl and she wouldn’t give him trouble or spread around what had happened in the classroom, but it still made Zayn a bit apprehensive.

“Sorry, mate,” Louis said in a genuine apology.

“S’alright,” Zayn said massaging his temples feeling a headache forming. “And, no, Liam won’t be home for Valentine’s Day. He’s got a couple of weeks left of recording his album in LA.”

“Really? He can’t make it back? But you haven’t seen him since before your birthday!”

“Yeah, I needed you to remind me that I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a month,” Zayn groaned. He really was missing Liam, but they would be together in a few weeks and then they could make up for lost time and missed holidays.

“Well, good! If you don’t have any plans then you won’t mind coming out for drinks with me.” Zayn laughed. He could tell this was Louis’ way of making sure Zayn wouldn’t mope about Liam on the romantic holiday and he really appreciated his friendship.

* * *

It seemed to take forever but Summer eventually came. Classes were ending and all Zayn had to do was grade the finals that his students had taken. Zayn sat down with a beer, music playing lowly in the background, and went through each of the papers laid out in front of him. He made comments and wrote a grade on the top of the page before he turned the papers over and left each student a little message about why he was glad to have had them in his class through the year.

His phone started ringing, and Zayn picked it up on the first ring thinking that it was Liam calling for their daily chat. His bags were backed and he'd soon be spending his days with Liam on the road. Liam was still away a lot for work through the year, but he tried to plan his tours for the summer so that Zayn could come with him on the break. After being together for a few years they figured out that this schedule gave them the most time together.

He felt a little disappointed when it wasn’t his boyfriend’s voice on the other line, but it didn’t last long as his mother warned him that she was headed over to his flat to make him a nice home-cooked meal before he flew off to ‘God knows where.’  

“Who knows when you’ll have a proper meal again, Zayn,” she had said when she got there making herself at home in his kitchen. “I’d give you extra to bring to Liam, that poor boy probably hasn’t had a decent dish since he was last here, but I don’t think it’d make it through customs.”

Zayn laughed and pulled his mum into a hug. “You’re the best, mom.”

* * *

“This is ridiculous,” Liam said, throwing down the magazine his publicist had handed him a few minutes ago. It landed on the table Zayn was sitting next to, the sound of the paper slapping against the wood startling him.

“What is it?” he asked, picking up the magazine and opening it to the page that had been dog-eared. The article taking up the two pages in front of Zayn was titled “Liam Payne’s new relationship status: serious.”

The article talked about how Liam was in a serious relationship, so serious that the woman Liam was apparently dating had introduced him to her child and they were seen out shopping together. There were pictures of Liam hanging out with a faceless little boy. Liam had been giving the boy a piggy back ride and there had been a pretty damning photo of Liam giving the kid’s mom a kiss on the cheek.

Zayn looked at all the pictures in the magazine and started laughing after he read the article. “My sister’s going to kill you,” he said.

“This never would have happened if you’d gone shopping with us like I wanted you to!” he complained.

“It’s not my fault that you kept me up all night. I needed my beauty sleep. You just need to stop being freakily energetic all the time.”

“I think I’m ready for the world to know,” Liam whispered.

“Really?” Zayn asked. They’d already had this conversation so many times before and he wasn’t quite willing to put weight in Liam's words until it actually happened.

“Yeah, I’m sick of reading articles like this. I mean, my relationship status is serious - ”

“I hope so - we live together,” Zayn interrupted.

“Yes we do,” Liam said kissing Zayn on the cheek. “My relationship status is serious, but I’m definitely not dating my boyfriend’s sister.”

“I love you,” Zayn said. “You know I’m going to be right here no matter what you choose to do.”

“I know,” Liam said with a smile before he caught Zayn’s lips with his own. He snuck his hand onto Zayn’s hips and smiled when the other man surprised him with a small bite on his lip.

Zayn was getting ready to suggest moving to the bedroom when his phone started ringing loudly and broke the silence of the room. He groaned and moved to see who was ringing him. When he saw his sister’s name across the display he handed the phone over to Liam muttering, “It’s for you. I’m not getting yelled at for this.”

Liam pouted at Zayn but ended up laughing as he took hold of the phone. “Hey, how’s my lovely Missus doing?” he joked.

“Liam Payne. Can you explain to me why my face is all over the internet or why people think my child calls you daddy?” she said in lieu of a greeting.

“I’m sorry, Don. I’m getting ready to say something on Twitter about it now. People haven’t been horrible to you, have they?” he asked.

“A couple of people, but it’s not a big deal. I’m a big girl. I can handle it. I just don’t like seeing people saying things about Ashraf,” she said.

“No, I agree. I’m going to say something about it right now. You know I think Ash and you are amazing. I’m really sorry about all this. Hopefully it’ll settle once I tell people to back off. Let me hand you off to Zayn, okay? I’ll talk to you later, love.”

Liam gave the phone to Zayn so that he could try to reassure his sister that she was a great person. Although she didn’t like to talk about it, they all knew that she’d struggled with her self image and it made Liam mad that one stupid article had people sending her anonymous crap. He'd seen it several times with other women magazines liked to link him with. People on the internet could be brutal. 

Zayn was talking quietly in the background and Liam sought out his phone so that he could get on twitter. He read through a few comments directed towards Don that made his blood boil but he didn’t know quite what to say about it all. He did want to come out, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to right that moment, and he didn’t want to throw Zayn to the same crowd that had been feeding off the previous story. He definitely wanted to nip this in the bud as quickly as possible to get people of Don's back so he came up with a series of tweets that he thought would get the point across.

 

> _**@real_liam_payne** : Whoa since when did hanging out with family start making the news? Didn’t know I’d make headlines by hanging out with my little nephew when I was in town._

Some fans would probably argue against his tweet since they know that his sisters don’t have any kids yet, but Ash had always known him as ‘uncle Liam.’ He was an infant when Liam started dating Zayn and so Liam had always been a part of his life. At first it was a lot to take in but the more Liam thought about being ‘uncle Liam’ to Zayn’s nephew, the more he had thought about forever with the amazing man he loved.

 

> _**@real_liam_payne:** I am in a serious relationship. This is our third year together, but I’m not with **@DElisha**. I see her getting a lot of unnecessary hate right now so please be nice. She’s a very lovely lady and one of the sweetest people I know.”_

Liam leaned over to show Zayn the tweets he’d come up with and sent them out into the world once he got a silent nod from Zayn who was still talking to his sister.

* * *

Zayn couldn’t help but roll his eyes as a group of girls were talking in the back of his classroom about the latest article that was written about his boyfriend. Liam had gone to an after party for some award show and had been photographed with an underwear model and people were speculating that it was Liam’s secret girlfriend. Apparently the girls in Zayn’s class thought that this one had some credibility to it since she’d been at a lot of music related events.

Unfortunately, Liam stating that he’d been in a long term relationship had spurred more rumors than they thought it would. Liam had been saying for weeks now that he wanted to just come out and say that he was dating Zayn to get everything to stop, but Zayn had been hesitant to allow him to. Zayn had always liked his privacy, and as a teacher he didn’t need his students to know about his personal life. He didn’t need the girls that were currently whispering in the corner of the room about his boyfriend to start doing the same about him.

 

> **Just did an interview. As a warning, I talked a little bit about us. Please don’t be mad.**
> 
> _What? You know I'd never get mad about that. What’d you say, babe?_

That was the text that Zayn had gotten from Liam about half way through the day and he didn’t think he’d be able to make it through the rest of the day as he waited for Liam to respond to him.

The more he thought about it, the more he wouldn’t mind people knowing. Their friends and family already knew. It didn’t have to be a big change, he tried to convince himself. 

Zayn called the office and got a substitute sent to his classroom since he wasn’t able to focus or sit still enough to make it much longer. He was driving home when Liam sent him a link and it made Zayn feel like his pocket was on fire. He went inside the house and considered calling Louis over for moral support but then he remembered that he’d left work early and that Louis wouldn’t be free for another couple hours.

Zayn threw the bag that held the papers he needed to grade down next to the couch and sat down staring at his phone for a long time before he unlocked it and clicked the video link that Liam had sent him. 

“So you’ve been in a relationship for a few years now, and your fans had no idea. How’d you hide it from them?”

“I didn’t hide it. I’m not out to deceive anyone. I just didn’t think it was necessary to announce it to the world until someone I consider family was getting hate sent to her because people thought we were dating.”

“Is that why we still don’t know who you’re dating? Because you’re afraid they’re going to be sent hate if people knew?”

“I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a thought that comes to mind sometimes. No one wants to see the person they love being told horrible things. I see it happen each time the papers link me to a new girl. “

“You don’t think she could handle it?”

“It’s not that. He can absolutely take care of himself. It’s mostly because he’s a really private person. He's also a school teacher. He's overheard students in his class talking about me and doesn't want them to look at or treat him any differently by finding out either.”

“He?”

“Yes, I’ve been in love with a boy for a few years now. We live together when I’m not on the road.”

“How does he handle you being on the road so much?”

“We work through it. It’s really hard to be away from the person you love so much, but we know we have to work for our relationship. We talk on the phone every single day despite time zones and we skype at least once a week. When he’s on break from work he flys out to wherever I am and I fly home whenever I can. We make it work.”

“Sure sounds like it. Do we get to know who this mystery guy is? “

“Not yet. I like not having to share him with the world,” he finished with a wink and the interview ended.

Zayn sat there in silence for a while before he grabbed his phone and texted Liam.

 

> _I am so proud of you. How are you feeling? Call me asap._

Zayn knew how big it was that Liam came out and he needed to make sure his boyfriend was okay.

He got a call from Liam about an hour later. Liam told him how much lighter he felt now and that it felt like the right time. 

"I can't wait to see you and tell you just how proud of you I am," Zayn said. 

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Liam came out and Zayn could tell it was wearing on Liam a little bit. There was a lot of hate, but a lot more support. Each time they spoke, Liam would tell him that he wished he’d waited until they were together because it was hard without Zayn by his side.

"It's just...It was just mine for so long and now everybody knows. I feel like I have no control over it. That people are going to judge me and limit my worth by this one part of me."

It broke Zayn’s heart because the distance had never felt so far. They both had jobs. Both had commitments they couldn’t break to be with each other at the moment and it was killing them. 

"You know I'd be there with you right now if I could. Yeah, some people are going to superficial about it, but you just got to keep being you. You're amazing and great and your talent will blow every single negative comment away," he told him. "Are you happy that you came out?"

"Yeah," Liam whispered.

"Then that's all that matters, babe. Even if it's just you and me against the world we'll be fine. Go listen to some of your songs and remember that," Zayn laughed hearing a chuckle come over the line.

"You're right."

"Damn, right I am. I'm here for you whenever you need. Just think, it's only a couple of weeks until you're home, okay?"

"Yeah, I can't wait to be back. Miss holding you so much."

"I miss you too, babe. Go get some sleep, okay? I know you have a long day tomorrow and it's late there.

"Love you so much, Zayn."

"Love you to the moon, babe."

* * *

A few days later, they took some time off to skype and Liam brought up some bad news.

“They want me to do a Christmas special and perform.”

“Liam, tell them no. Christmas is our holiday!”

“I know that, love. They’re not giving me a choice here, but we’re still spending Christmas together. Nobody will ever take Christmas away from us.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“I’d like you to fly out here. We’ll spend the week together, I’ll perform for their thing and we’ll spend our holiday together.”

“Okay.”

It didn't seem like such a bad plan when Zayn was standing in a crowd of Liam’s fans watching his boyfriend perform after a week of spending time together in the foreign city. Zayn always loved watching Liam perform. He was in his element doing what he loved and each time Zayn saw that light in Liam’s eyes he fell in love even more. Liam had been singing a mixture of classic Christmas songs and his own music.

“I have one more song I’d like to sing tonight. It’s a new song I wrote a couple of weeks ago as a Christmas gift for my boyfriend who’s here tonight.” The volume of fans screaming around him was deafening, but Zayn could barely hear it when he looked up and caught Liam’s eyes.

“Will you come up here, Zayn?” he asked.

Zayn was caught off guard for a moment, but started shuffling through the crowd towards the stage. Liam reached out a hand and helped him up. When he got on stage, Liam didn’t drop his hand. Instead his grip tightened even more as music started playing and Liam lifted his microphone to his lips.

 

> _“I missed Thanksgiving, missed a birthday or two_   
>  _Didn't make St. Valentines, but I was thinking of you_   
>  _Only one thing in the world, I couldn't do  
> _ _Only one thing could kill me, Christmas without you_
> 
> _Ooh, the snow is on the ground_   
>  _The day's getting colder, I'm coming home now  
> _ _So go ahead light the fire, turn that Christmas tree on  
> _ _Cause I've been missing you so much I wrote you this song”_

Zayn was crying in front of everyone by the end of the song. It was absolutely beautiful and he could barely breathe because of it. Without letting go of Zayn’s hand, Liam got down on one knee.

“Zayn, you’re the only thing I need on Christmas to be happy and I never want to spend a Christmas without you. Will you marry me?”

Zayn nodded and pulled Liam up, off his knee, and into a kiss in front of fans screaming around them. When they broke apart, Liam had tears trailing down his cheeks too. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box slipping a ring on Zayn’s finger to let the world know he was his forever.


End file.
